Good Things About Comic Books #2

Man, we've really been on a music kick here at Beat It, Nerd, haven't we? And yes, I mean "we" in the royal sense. Screw you if you don't like it.

Here's something that oughta cheer you up, though -- some quality time with the subject of tonight's GTaCB:

JUDGE DREDD!

First appearing in the pages of England's 2000 AD, Judge Dredd -- better known as Joe to his close, personal friends, of which he has none -- has been patrolling the mean streets of Mega-City One since 1977. And make no mistake: He is the law!

If all you know about Dredd comes from that shitty Sly Stallone flick, then you don't know Dredd. Simple as that. For one thing, the real Judge Dredd never takes off his helmet. Ever. Okay, he did once, but they drew a "censored" bar over his face. Sly Stallone? Dude spent 9/10ths of the movie with his helmet off! What the hell is that about?

Plus, the real Dredd wears preposterously large shoulder pads. Sly's looked quite manageable, and his gloves and boots weren't green, either. I'd like to know who he thought he was fooling with that nonsense.

And don't even get me started on the whole "Judge Dredd getting a girlfriend" thing. I half expected the Easter Bunny to come hopping across the screen at that point. Might as well shoot for the moon once you've gone that far!

No, the real Dredd is nothing like the buffoon Hollywood gave us. The real Dredd is a fascist through and through, and cares for nothing save punishing the guilty. If you commit a crime in his presence -- any crime, no matter how small -- you will receive the maximum sentence allowed by law. And if that sentence is death? So much the better as far as he's concerned; it's one less perp crowding the streets!

All of which makes Judge Dredd a Good Thing about Comic Books. Sa-lute!

Stabbed For WHAT?!?

Sweet mother of christ, what kind of animals would do such a thing?! It's insanity! Look, even Angus is crying about it, and he's not the type of guy who cries easily.

A teenager who was stabbed in the eye during her school lunch break said a "gang mentality" singled out pupils for their music and fashion tastes.

[...]

"Somebody asked me on the first day what kind of music I listened to, so I said AC/DC."

She said that, as a result of this, she was told she was a "metaler" and found herself being shunned by other classmates.

This never would've happened under Bon Scott's watch. Everyone loved AC/DC back then. Everyone!

Blast From The Past

First, the embarrassing part. I've been listening to Fleetwood Mac almost exclusively for the past couple days. That's right, the Mac. Not their early, blues-driven stuff either. No. I'm talking Mick Fleetwood, John & Christine McVie, Lindsey Buckingham & Stevie Nicks. The sleazy, cocaine-driven, lover-swapping Fleetwood Mac and Rumours period. It was disgusting. Pleasurably disgusting, but disgusting nonetheless.

So tonight, as penance, I told myself, "Self, enough of this Fleetwood Mac shit. It's rotting our brain. For christ's sake, bust out some punk rock before we go crazy." I didn't have to tell myself twice, and immediately remembered something I'd been meaning to do for months: track down legendary punk band Flipper's equally legendary debut album, Album - Generic Flipper. (I do own a copy, but it's on vinyl, and my vinyl resides some 16 hours away.) Within an hour I had all but one track -- which I'm still looking for -- and kids, I'm pleased to say this disc is every bit as good as I remembered!

Beat It, Nerd gives Flipper's Album a coveted 5 out of 5 stars.

If you know nothing about Flipper, you can read more about them at Wikipedia. As for their sound, it was a very heavy, very chaotic affair, and definitely not for the weak of heart. I hate making "tastes like chicken"-type comparisons, but if you're into that kind of thing then they were like early Sonic Youth mixed with the Germs. Henceforth, they'll be known to me as the anti-Fleetwood Mac.


Interesting note about Album: It was released in 1982. In 1986, Public Image Ltd. (led by former Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten/Lydon) released an album called, ahem, Album. That was the name for its vinyl version, with the cassette and CD versions being called Cassette and Compact Disc, respectively. Though the packaging looked nothing like Flipper's Album -- but did look like all the generic products in 1984's Repo Man flick -- the concept similarity was close enough that Flipper retaliated with the double-live Public Flipper Limited. True story!

Goddamn I Hate Being An Agent Of The Man

Nothing but a half-assed post for you fine readers. Why? Because I had to do employee evaluations tonight. Why? Because I'm in low-middle management. Why? Because I goofed off too much in college, barely graduating with a "C" average in English. English! What the hell was I thinking?!

Whatever. For the record, college was a blast. Writing employee evaluations? Not so much.

As with most things business-related, it seems these evaluations were a lot easier back in the 1970s. Boss calls dude/dudette into his office around raise time, and one of two things happens: A) The boss says, "Schmitty, you're doing a swell job -- you're getting a raise!" or B) The boss says, "Schmitty, you're really stinking up the place -- no raise for you!" No paperwork, no decimal-pointed scoring systems, no bullshit.

Plus, if it were still the '70s a guy with my job could afford to buy a house. Good luck doing that now, guy!

Awesome Album Covers #2

I won't lie to you: I've been on a Pink Floyd kick lately. It was spurred by a recent report about late Floyd co-founder Syd Barrett's useless crap being auctioned off, and culminated in me finally getting the last piece of what I consider the Floyd Canon*: Music from the Film 'More', a.k.a More. Not a Syd album, true, but I already had those. And for the record, More is every bit as excellent as I remembered it being back in college; The Wall isn't fit to wipe its ass.

Anyhow, if the above leads you to believe that tonight's Awesome Album Cover will come from the Floyd family, then your senses serve you well. Problem is, while the stuff inside Floyd records is almost always gold, the covers often leave much to be desired. Especially when you're dealing with covers from their Golden Age (read: everything pre-Dark Side of the Moon. What can I say, I'm old school).

Fortunately, there's one from that period that meets Awesome Album Covers' strict criteria. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

Pink Floyd's
Atom Heart Mother!

What words could I possibly type that could match the confusion generated by running down to your local record store to drop your hard-earned allowance on the first new Pink Floyd release of the 1970s, only to be greeted by this grade-A Holstein? (And no, I'm not old enough to have done that.)

None, my friends. Which is why Atom Heart Mother has an Awesome Album Cover! Sa-lute!

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* All the non-greatest hits studio albums from The Piper at the Gates of Dawn through The Wall, and that last one is just one bad note from being added to my "apocryphal" list.