Greetings From The Future

L'chaim. I'm from the year 5767, and I'm telling you it's great here. The air is clean. The water's clean. Even the dirt is clean. Bowling scores are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down. And we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with.

Ha! Just kidding. I'm not from the future; I'm Jewish. Rather, half my family's Jewish, but I was raised Catholic. Long story. Another long story is Rosh Hashanah, which started at sundown tonight, meaning it's now the year 5767 as far as non-goyim are concerned. So, Happy New Year! Unless you're a nazi. We dropped you bastards from our Friends & Family list a long time ago.

p.s. I must admit that most of my lede was swiped from another source. If you know which one, you are a well-cultured individual. Sa-lute!