Like You Couldn't See That One Coming

Crikey! Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin got killed by one of the many deadly animals with which he was always fucking!

CAIRNS, Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the “Crocodile Hunter,” was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

[...]

“He came on top of the stingray and the stingray’s barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart,” said Stainton, who was on board Irwin’s boat at the time.

Yow, a stingray's barb right through the ol' ticker! Hell of a way to go, considering that most people die in bed or at the hands of another human. And at least he was spared the ultimate irony. If you need me to explain what the ultimate irony would be in this situation, then maybe you'd be better off reading a different blog; we move pretty fast around here.

As for the stingray, I can only imagine that crocodiles are already crafting songs and other works of art in its honor. Like, if there's a croc version of Jim Croce, then Jim Crocodoce is right now at this minute writing "Bad, Bad Leroy Stingray." Dude will probably even get knighted by the grand Crocodile King himself.

Steve Irwin, R.I.P.
"Don't Fear The Reaper"