Well, I'm Back

Sweet Jesus, has it really been like 2 weeks since my last post? Good golly Miss Molly! I didn't intend to be away that long, but, you know, things get in the way. Like, ridiculous levels of attention paid to the mid-term elections. Oh, and a lot of time spent reconfiguring my computer so it can use many of the visual bells & whistles of Windows Vista without actually having to buy Windows Vista.

And, uh, just kind of sitting around. Some books were involved. And some movies. And some sloth. I'm only human.

So, I'm going to ease back into the whole regular posting thing. Oh, and hey, how 'bout dem liberals, huh? Good going, guys. Try to not lose it to the conservatives again for at least 12 years, if not longer. Things get real crazy real fast when they have complete control...

A Relatively Lazy Post About The Rolling Stones

I call this a lazy post because I wrote most of it before posting it to this here blog-a-roo. It all started when I did a drive-by past fellow On Time!er The Far North End, and found him having an existential dilemma regarding one of my favorite bands, the Rolling Stones. Besides asking for Stones album recommendations, FNE's question was: why does anyone consider the Stones to be equals to, if not better than, the Beatles? The rest of tonight's post is my reply to that question, spiced up with some stolen pictures. Enjoy!

* * *

For me, the answer to “Beatles or Stones?” will always be “Stones.” Almost exclusively because of the song “Sympathy for the Devil.” But I don’t see the Stones as being more innovative or influential as the Beatles. More talented? I’d call that a draw. Ultimately, I think it’s kind of like, whether a person believes in [INSERT PREFERRED CREATOR NAME HERE] or [INSERT PREFERRED CREATOR-OPPONENT NAME HERE], chances are they still believe that the creator is more powerful and influential than (and may have in fact created) the opponent.

I didn't live through the '60s, so I can't speak for the hippies, but that's how I've always viewed their rivalry: the Beatles were yang, and the Stones were yin. People just kind of go with whatever vibe they like the most. And yes, the Beatles were probably a more groundbreaking group than the Stones... but you’d be hard-pressed to prove they were cooler.

* * *

Two other things I just now thought to add -- first, the Stones gain a lot of props due to the fact the core members have been working together for 40-some-odd years, whereas the Beatles only lasted about a decade.

On a more superficial level, the Beatles couldn't boast anyone as awesome as Keith Richards, and the Stones weren't hampered by anyone as toolish as Paul McCartney (though arguments could be made in Mick Jagger's favor on that point). Discuss.

Beat It, Nerd 2.0 Is Online And Fully Operational

Whew -- the dust is all but settled, and Beat It, Nerd is officially nuzzled in sweet momma Blogger Beta's warm embrace. Lest she be forgotten, though, here's one last look at the original site (click for a larger image, if you're into staring at dinosaurs):

If you're a current Blogger user, and have the option of switching to Blogger Beta, I highly recommend it. If you're not getting an update invite on your Blogger dashboard, it's still possible to switch your blog -- as seen here, duh -- but it will take a good amount of time. Especially if you have a large blog. That said, here's some of the new features offered by Blogger Beta:

* First, my favorite addition: post topics/meta-tags, with the option to post a complete list of your blog's topics in the sidebar (or elsewhere if you want to get real crazy).

* Faster blog & post editing with tons more options for each.

* HTML-free color, font, layout & blog features editing (though you'll still need to go to the HTML editor for some things).

* Better archive layout and options.

That's not all, but those are the things that caught my eye. Give it a spin yourself if you wanna know more, or don't. What do I care?

Moving Day

Swank new digs, no? And it's on the even swankier new "Blogger Beta." Only thing is, Blogger didn't deem the original Beat It, Nerd swanky enough to extend an invitation to migrate to Blogger Beta, so I had to take a very long route to get here. Fortunately, and almost by chance, I found out that deleted-blog URLs are now instantly available. So, it was "just" a matter of deleting the original beatitnerd.blogspot.com, starting a Blogger Beta account, relaunching the old URL on the new account, and now the fun part: transferring the old posts, having already saved the HTML for each in Microsoft Word documents. Quite a fun afternoon ahead of me...

Don't Worry, I'm Not Dead

Hey, what's up. Been awhile, huh? Yeah, I've been busy. Family was in town, plus I got a new cell phone -- the Sanyo "Katana." I.E., Sprint's version of the ubiquitous "Razr." Only we use all our vowels here in Sprint Country.

A new piece of technology, or god forbid a video game, is guaranteed to sap my interest in all other extracurricular activities for at least a week, as was the case this time. If it'd been a grade-A new video game, you might not have heard from me for a month. You've been warned.

But anyways, the phone: it's pretty sweet. Should you be in the market for a new phone, and are a Sprint customer, or don't mind switching to Sprint, I strongly recommend the Katana. For one, it has a cool name. It flips open, which is a feature the Star Trek fan in me demands of all cell phones. And it's ridiculously slim.* I think it might even be two-dimensional. More importantly, though, conversations sound great on both ends, and it has unbelievably good reception. In fact, I was using it while putting clothes in the dryer in the laundry room of my apartment building's basement, and the call was still clear as a bell!

That said, if you're a phone-gadget fiend, this is not the model for you; a web browser and a VGA camera (no video) is all it offers.

Still, it's perfect for my needs. Strange thing is, it's not the phone I set out to buy: the one I really wanted was the Samsung A640. Why? It looks just like Spock's coffin from Wrath of Khan! Plus, it has a '70s-style external display that only shows red & blue colors, making it a cell phone that would've been right at home on the Death Star. But, Sprint stopped selling it the day before I went to buy one -- apparently the reception was shit. B-Side wins again!

And no, I don't sleep in Star Trek sheets. Or Star Wars. Get a life, man.

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* The downside to this is, Sanyo felt it necessary to print "ultraslim mobile phone" on the phone's exterior. Thank christ they didn't build my car or it would say "small fuel efficient car" across the hood.

Northerners Are Weird, Hive-Like

Huh. I was tipped off to this by Jane via Gawker: NetFlix has a feature called "Local Favorites," which lets you see the most popular rentals in your area... or any area in the U.S.! Well, any "area" that's a major city.

The thing that struck me about Manhattan's Top 10 is that so many of the movies are New York-centric. I know it's the "greatest city on earth" and all, but one would think one wouldn't mind being transported to other places via cinema every now and again. The same was true to an extent for the other NY boroughs, but Manhattanites really take it to an extreme.

So I say to myself, "Self, ain't no way Baltimorons can be this proud of their environs -- that place is the city equivalent of a zombie!" But lo and behold... the Baltimore NetFlix Top 10!:

1. Liberty Heights
2. The Corner (2-Disc Series)
3. Avalon
4. The Wire: Season 2 (5-Disc Series)
5. L'Auberge Espagnole
6. A Dirty Shame
7. Hairspray
8. G
9. Homicide: Life on the Street: Seasons 1 & 2 (4-Disc Series)
10. Steve Harvey: Don't Trip, He Ain't Through with Me Yet

Gah! 10 movies (or TV shows), and at least seven are directly related to Charm City! By now, I'm panicking -- could it be that anyone who lives in a city is so in love with said city that all they want to watch are movies about the city?!? Feeling woozy, I tested my home state's two biggest cities:

Miami, FL
1. The Waiting List (Lista de Espera)
2. Bitter Sugar (Azúcar amarga)
3. Marc Anthony: Concert from Madison Square Garden
4. Guantanamera
5. For Love or Country
6. Strawberry & Chocolate (Fresa y Chocolate)
7. Secuestro Express (Kidnap Express)
8. The Dark Side of the Heart
9. Conversaciones con Mama
10. Balseros

Orlando, FL
1. Forest of the Dead
2. Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi: Original Theatrical Version
3. Meet the Browns
4. Why Did I Get Married?
5. Somewhere in Time
6. Eurotrip
7. Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back: Original Theatrical Version
8. Pink Floyd: Pulse (2-Disc Series)
9. Three Kings
10. HellBent

Whoa! Look at all the goddamn variety down there! And not a single flick about the cities they live in! Now those are some reasonable, sane people!

God bless Florida. I surely do miss it at times.

Man, I Really Worked Blue Last Night

Oh my. I just looked over last night's drunken defense of Bocephus, and it even made me blush. Sure am glad I haven't told Mom about this site.

If any regular readers were offended, please accept my most heartfelt apologies. I mean it. You deserve better. You liberal motherfucking decent human beings, you.

But hey, speaking of working blue, how about that boxer The Smurf, huh? Get it? Smurf? Blue? Yeah. Alright, I'm getting out before I fall any further behind. Later.

Good Things About Comic Books #1

Shelton here, launching an exciting new feature at Beat It, Nerd: “Good Things about Comic Books.” Unless you’re really stupid, you can probably guess the angle.

As a little background, I technically work in the funnybook biz -- but only at its most soulless, disinteresting level -- and have had an on-again, off-again relationship with the medium since I was 5 or so. So yeah, I’ve probably formed some opinions in that time. And because I’m quite self-absorbed, I think the rest of you can’t wait to hear them! So without further adieu, here’s GTaCB’s debut subject…

JUGHEAD JONES!

Born Forsythe Pendleton Jones, this felt crown-wearing funnyman has been the smirking, smart-alecky peanut butter to Archie Andrews’ nice-guy jelly since your dad was still in short pants. Or maybe since your granddad was still in short pants, whatever. That's not the point. The point is, Jughead rules, and there's a bunch of other slacker doofuses -- Maynard T. Krebs (and his cousin Gilligan), Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, Jeff Spicoli, et al -- who owe him a big debt of gratitude.

Take his legendary hamburger-eating ability, rivaled only by Wellington J. Wimpy and the aforementioned Norville Rogers. Or the cool way he flaunts authority! Or his skills with a paint brush! Shit, dude's even in the Time Police! That's purely off the hook!!!

Plus, the blog’s title was inspired by Jughead. Thanks to the AV Club’s excellent “Decade by Decade with Archie Comics,” I came across this little gem from when Jughead became a punk rocker in the '80s:

Needing a name for this blog, I thought of that line, but mis-remembered it as the one I went with. No matter, as I prefer "Beat it" to "Back off" anyhow, and it keeps me from being a total ripoff artist. But I digress. Getting back to the point...

Sa-lute, Jughead Jones! You’re a good thing about comic books!

Beat It, Nerd

Hi folks, the name's Shelton. I'm new to this whole blogging thing -- just as the fad seems to be dying out, might I add. That said, I bring something to the table that most bloggers don't: actual writing skills. See? I just strung together three sentences without any punctuation or grammatical errors. Can your average blogger do that? Fuck no, my friends. Fuck no.

But hey, I'm not here to discuss society's continuing decline into illiteracy. That's not my beat. See, Jesus once came to me in a dream. He said, "Shelton? If you're going to waste time writing, for fuck's sake write what you know." Then he turned into an owl and flew out the window, never to be seen again.

So I guess that's what I'll be doing here. But mostly I'm doing it to meet blog chicks. You know, like Ana Marie Cox. I hear she's hot. And into anal. Va-va-va-voom.