Robert Fiveson Contra DreamWorks y Los Warner Bros.

Good news from Variety: a federal judge has ruled that the lawsuit filed by Robert S. Fiveson & the awesomely named Clonus Associates against DreamWorks & Warner Bros. can move forward.

Why does this matter? Because Fiveson is the creator of a little-known '79 sci-fi/horror flick called Parts: The Clonus Horror, and claims that DW/WB's The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson, is a ripoff of his film. After hearing this last year I made it a point to watch both movies, and in my opinion Fiveson has a very good case.

Plus, DreamWorks really isn't helping itself with a defense like this:

...DreamWorks also has argued plaintiffs were not entitled to any damages because "The Island" wasn't profitable.

The judge, however, said the defendants' method of calculating was highly contested by the plaintiffs and that the defendants did not provide supporting documentation when filing a declaration saying "The Island" made zero profit.

In other words, DreamWorks -- implying a place where dreams are made in factory-like conditions -- feels that it's perfectly all right for them to steal other people's ideas so long as they don't make any money off the project. That's a very progressive stance for a media conglomerate to take.

Incidentally, unless you have a subscription to Variety.com, you probably won't be able to read the linked article after a day or so. Tough titty for you, eh?

Northerners Are Weird, Hive-Like

Huh. I was tipped off to this by Jane via Gawker: NetFlix has a feature called "Local Favorites," which lets you see the most popular rentals in your area... or any area in the U.S.! Well, any "area" that's a major city.

The thing that struck me about Manhattan's Top 10 is that so many of the movies are New York-centric. I know it's the "greatest city on earth" and all, but one would think one wouldn't mind being transported to other places via cinema every now and again. The same was true to an extent for the other NY boroughs, but Manhattanites really take it to an extreme.

So I say to myself, "Self, ain't no way Baltimorons can be this proud of their environs -- that place is the city equivalent of a zombie!" But lo and behold... the Baltimore NetFlix Top 10!:

1. Liberty Heights
2. The Corner (2-Disc Series)
3. Avalon
4. The Wire: Season 2 (5-Disc Series)
5. L'Auberge Espagnole
6. A Dirty Shame
7. Hairspray
8. G
9. Homicide: Life on the Street: Seasons 1 & 2 (4-Disc Series)
10. Steve Harvey: Don't Trip, He Ain't Through with Me Yet

Gah! 10 movies (or TV shows), and at least seven are directly related to Charm City! By now, I'm panicking -- could it be that anyone who lives in a city is so in love with said city that all they want to watch are movies about the city?!? Feeling woozy, I tested my home state's two biggest cities:

Miami, FL
1. The Waiting List (Lista de Espera)
2. Bitter Sugar (Azúcar amarga)
3. Marc Anthony: Concert from Madison Square Garden
4. Guantanamera
5. For Love or Country
6. Strawberry & Chocolate (Fresa y Chocolate)
7. Secuestro Express (Kidnap Express)
8. The Dark Side of the Heart
9. Conversaciones con Mama
10. Balseros

Orlando, FL
1. Forest of the Dead
2. Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi: Original Theatrical Version
3. Meet the Browns
4. Why Did I Get Married?
5. Somewhere in Time
6. Eurotrip
7. Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back: Original Theatrical Version
8. Pink Floyd: Pulse (2-Disc Series)
9. Three Kings
10. HellBent

Whoa! Look at all the goddamn variety down there! And not a single flick about the cities they live in! Now those are some reasonable, sane people!

God bless Florida. I surely do miss it at times.

Suck It You Rodian Dirtball

Yeah, so I was one of the lemmings who gave yet more money to George "I'm Both Morally and Creatively Bankrupt" Lucas today, so I could get my hands on the first-ever official DVD release of the original Star Wars and Return of the Jedi. Not Empire Strikes Back, though; I have no complaints about any of the Special Edition changes in that flick.

Is it insulting to have to buy the Special Editions that I just bought last year all over again to get the original versions? Of course. So are most things in life. But it is pretty sweet seeing Han shoot first again, the way Allah intended. Not to mention that funky wolfman dude in the cantina. And no more goddamn extended dance party at Jabba's palace in Jedi. Amen.

I've Had It With This Motherf'ing Free Hype For The Motherf'ing Man

Don't get me wrong. I like Samuel L. Jackson as much as the next movie fan. Would love to hear what he really thinks about those horrible Star Wars flicks he got suckered into doing. (Same goes for Ewan MacGregor on that point... and speaking of which, where'd he go since Sith? Don't tell me the Star Wars curse has struck again!)

But what the fuck is with all the free bandwidth you people keep giving to New Line to promote its new movie? You know, the one about the aeroplane stuffed to the gills with legless reptiles. That one.

Samuel L. Jackson isn't the problem, people giving free publicity to a multi-billion-dollar movie studio -- and then paying to see their movie -- is the problem.

As of right now, a specific Google search for, uh, "that movie's title" (in quotes) turns up 18,300,000 pages. Abraham Lincoln? 23 million. That's right. Dude's on Mt. Rushmore, the five-dollar bill, the penny, classic Star Trek and Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and he gets less than 5 million pages more than a movie about, you know, those things on the thing. And in what I find to be an even more startling statistic, the Sex Pistols only net 6,260,000 pages! The frikkin' Sex Pistols! Just 1/3 as page-worthy as a movie co-starring a bunch of badly CGI-ed serpents!

For the most part, those 18,300,000 pages are the result of millions of John Q. Publics spending millions of hours making electronic odes to a B-movie that no one's even seen yet. And who primarily benefits from that labor of love? New Line Cinema, the studio that bankrolled the movie and will reap the profits when it inevitably emerges as the nation's #1 film. I'm sure they appreciate your efforts.

Not that I'm not going to see it, mind you. Like I said, I'm a Jackson fan, and I can't blame him for having it with those motherfucking things. I'm just not lifting a finger to help a bunch of fat cats get fatter. Especially considering my deep-seated hatred of cats.