Beat It, Nerd

Hi folks, the name's Shelton. I'm new to this whole blogging thing -- just as the fad seems to be dying out, might I add. That said, I bring something to the table that most bloggers don't: actual writing skills. See? I just strung together three sentences without any punctuation or grammatical errors. Can your average blogger do that? Fuck no, my friends. Fuck no.

But hey, I'm not here to discuss society's continuing decline into illiteracy. That's not my beat. See, Jesus once came to me in a dream. He said, "Shelton? If you're going to waste time writing, for fuck's sake write what you know." Then he turned into an owl and flew out the window, never to be seen again.

So I guess that's what I'll be doing here. But mostly I'm doing it to meet blog chicks. You know, like Ana Marie Cox. I hear she's hot. And into anal. Va-va-va-voom.