Good Things About Comic Books #1

Shelton here, launching an exciting new feature at Beat It, Nerd: “Good Things about Comic Books.” Unless you’re really stupid, you can probably guess the angle.

As a little background, I technically work in the funnybook biz -- but only at its most soulless, disinteresting level -- and have had an on-again, off-again relationship with the medium since I was 5 or so. So yeah, I’ve probably formed some opinions in that time. And because I’m quite self-absorbed, I think the rest of you can’t wait to hear them! So without further adieu, here’s GTaCB’s debut subject…

JUGHEAD JONES!

Born Forsythe Pendleton Jones, this felt crown-wearing funnyman has been the smirking, smart-alecky peanut butter to Archie Andrews’ nice-guy jelly since your dad was still in short pants. Or maybe since your granddad was still in short pants, whatever. That's not the point. The point is, Jughead rules, and there's a bunch of other slacker doofuses -- Maynard T. Krebs (and his cousin Gilligan), Norville "Shaggy" Rogers, Jeff Spicoli, et al -- who owe him a big debt of gratitude.

Take his legendary hamburger-eating ability, rivaled only by Wellington J. Wimpy and the aforementioned Norville Rogers. Or the cool way he flaunts authority! Or his skills with a paint brush! Shit, dude's even in the Time Police! That's purely off the hook!!!

Plus, the blog’s title was inspired by Jughead. Thanks to the AV Club’s excellent “Decade by Decade with Archie Comics,” I came across this little gem from when Jughead became a punk rocker in the '80s:

Needing a name for this blog, I thought of that line, but mis-remembered it as the one I went with. No matter, as I prefer "Beat it" to "Back off" anyhow, and it keeps me from being a total ripoff artist. But I digress. Getting back to the point...

Sa-lute, Jughead Jones! You’re a good thing about comic books!