Friday, August 25, 2006

I've Found A New Favorite Bar

Shelton here, reporting live from my living room after drinks with some co-workers at my new favorite bar: the one in the Holiday Inn behind my office building. Yeah, that's right, I said "in the Holiday Inn." I know, I can hardly believe it myself.

But, shit. I'm not a young man anymore. I'll complete my 36th trip around the sun a week from Sunday, which means my tastes no longer run in the trendy direction. Then again, they never did; they've always run in the dive-y direction. Not anymore. Now when I need an after-work drink, I'll make a beeline to the Holiday Inn's Martini Bar, where the only thing more enticing than their 5-7 happy hour is the cocktail waitress, Alex.

That's right, Alex, which I can only assume is short for Alexia or something equally scintillating. This voluptuous brunette bombshell is from Romania, and is spending the summer in the U.S. on a work exchange program. What kind of work exchange program involves being a cocktail waitress at a Holiday Inn, I do not know. Nor do I care, presuming she keeps the drinks and legginess flowing.

Oh, and did I mention her outfit? Slinky black skirt approximately 2 sizes too small, inexplicably cut up the left side to a point that extends above the top of the skirt itself. Try wrapping your head around that. Then add in an satiny white shirt, also too small, showing ample bosom and belly. Yeah, exactly.

Sad part is, Alex has to go back to Romania in less than a month. But there's good news -- once she gets her degree in civil engineering, she's coming back to the U.S.! That's frikkin' awesome!

Wait. I just wrote nearly 300 words admitting that, on a Friday night, I went to a Holiday Inn with co-workers and ogled a Romanian cocktail waitress while downing $2.50 Heinekins. Well, buy the ticket take the ride, as Hunter Thompson once said. And with that, he pushed the "Publish Post" button.

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